The Strings of My Guitar and Your Heart
by AngelBaby214
Summary: CS AU. Emma lives in New York with Henry, age ten. She raised him alone, but what happens when she meets the handsome street guitarist, Killian Jones? Angst and some explicit content are ahead. Warning: Major character death. I admit to crying a few times while writing this.


The Strings of My Guitar and Your Heart

Emma sees him around town a lot. He really is a charmer sitting on the street corner plucking out a tune on his guitar.

The first time she sees him, she was coming home late from work at the office. Not that it mattered since her house was within a reasonable walking distance from her apartment down on 42nd Street. The sun fell behind him and shrouded him in a pool of orange and gold on that Tuesday night in early September. He wasn't begging for money or anything; he just sat on the sidewalk playing a tune and singing softly to himself. The man pay no mind to the world around him and sang with his guitar.

"I don't know you, but I want you all the more for that." Emma knew those lyrics . . . _"Falling Slowly," duh!_ His voice caught her ears, something enchanting and smooth but raw and passionate that mesmerized her. She stopped hurrying home, never mind that her son was home alone and she hadn't made dinner, and listened closer.

"Words fall through me and always fool me and I can't react." She found herself singing along with the stranger on the corner and turned around to face him. The man gave her a smile and tipped his hat to her, beckoning her to come closer. Emma took a seat next to him on the sidewalk by the street sign and sang in harmony with him.

"You have suffered enough and warred with yourself. It's time that you won." She let him take that line solo and rejoined him on the chorus.

"Take this sinking boat and point it home. We've still got time. Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice. You've made it now. Falling slowly, sing your melody. I'll sing along." He strummed the last chords and set his guitar aside.

"I'm Killian Jones. What's your name, love?" Emma could definitely hear that Irish lilt in his voice any day. Quite the charmer, all blue-eyed baritone and whatnot.

"Emma Swan. You've got quite a voice, sir."

"Same to you." Emma laughed and turned shyly away from him.

"Oh, please. The shower is my stage, Killian Jones. Well, and my kitchen, but that's only for my encores." Killian laughed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You're funny, Emma. So, what brings you over by the way of little old me?" Killian helped her stand and picked up his guitar to move on to the bench outside of the local diner.

"Just on my way home from work. I'm not usually out this late, but the boss made me stay after. Oh well. I was about to go home and make dinner for my son, but I just had to stop and hear you sing." Killian looked a little shocked at the thought of Emma having a son.

"Significant other?" _Shit. Why did you have to say that, Killian?_ "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry or anything. I was just—"

"No, really. It's okay. Single mom. I, um . . . well, I'm a teenage mom, really. I was eighteen. Got framed for something my boyfriend did at the time and went to jail. Eleven months. Found out I was pregnant there and well, the rest is history." Killian's gaze turned sympathetic. There was something about her that captivated him, and he knew it when he saw her passing by. She needed a friend, a light in her world, and he thought maybe that could be him, even just for a moment.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Emma. I know that must be hard for you to talk about." Emma gave a shrug and a sad smile to Killian and cast her gaze at the sunset.

"Not really. Henry's ten now." A comfortable silence fell between them as the pair stared off into the fading sun. Emma had a thought and pulled out her wallet and checked her cash availability. "Here, I'm sure you haven't eaten dinner yet. Enjoy." Killian pushed the twenty dollar bill back to Emma.

"Emma, love, I can't take that from you. It would be wrong—" Emma stood up and reluctantly took her bill back and put it in her wallet.

"Fine. But you aren't getting out of this. You look like you'd be a good cook, so you're coming to my apartment and helping me make dinner and staying to eat it. I insist." Emma crossed her arms and stared at Killian defiantly when he refused.

"Emma . . ."

"No. Come on, I'm sure Henry would love to meet you." Emma offered her hand to Killian, and he took it bashfully as he picked up his guitar case and strolled with Emma back to her apartment.

The sounds of laughter filled the apartment as Henry had turned on the TV and sat laughing in front of it. Emma looked on the screen only to find a handsome man rolling down a hill shouting "As you wish!" She rolled her eyes and led Killian inside.

"Hey mom!" Henry was sprawled on the couch watching _The Princess Bride_ for the third time in less than a week. That kid loved that movie!

"Hi Henry. There's someone I want you to meet. Henry, this is Killian. Killian, this is my so Henry." Killian ruffled Henry's hair, a brown color unlike his mother's. His face, however, was a near copy of Emma's.

"It's nice to meet you, lad." Henry gave Emma a puzzled stare and stepped back from the pair gathered at the kitchen counter.

"Wait. Mom, is this my dad?"

"No, Henry. I already told you. Your dad did some pretty bad things when I was younger, and I doubt you'll ever know him. I'm sorry." Henry shrugged and took another glance at Killian.

"So, if he's not my dad, is he your boyfriend?" Both Emma and Killian laughed at her son's misconception.

"No, Henry. I met Killian ten minutes ago. He was on the street playing music, so I invited him to dinner. He's a really good singer." Killian grinned shyly and rocked on his heels slightly.

"Can you play me a song, Killian?" Emma headed in to the kitchen and pulled out the ingredients for tonight's main course: homemade pizzas.

"After dinner. And that's only if you've finished your homework too, young man." Henry ran to the couch where his completed math pages lay on top of his schoolbag and showed Emma as she was washing her hands.

"It's done, see?" Emma bent down to Henry and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

"I do see. Go wash your hands and you can help me with a few things in here." Henry ran to his bathroom at the opposite end of the apartment, leaving Killian and Emma alone together.

"He's a really great kid, Emma. You raised him well." Killian started chopping some vegetables while Emma rolled out the dough.

"Despite everything that happened, I'm actually kind of happy my life turned out this way. I had second thoughts in the delivery room, but I knew for Henry, I should. As soon as I held him, he stopped crying, and I knew then that I just had to keep him and give him the life he deserved. I didn't want him to grow up the way I did, in and out of foster homes, and he pushed me to be a better mother and person in a sense." Emma had stopped rolling and leaned against the counter, reflectively staring at their picture in the window. Instinctively, Killian came to Emma and embraced her softly from behind.

"I think you're an amazing woman, Emma. You deserve nothing less than that. I know I've only known you half an hour, but I feel like I've known you a lifetime." Emma melted into Killian's arms. Something about them felt just right, like the home she had been searching for in a man. Emma faced him and wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her head against his chest and muttered something under her breath that sounded like a thank you. Killian smiled.

Dinner was absolutely perfect. Everything tasted divine and conversation was nothing lackluster. Between Henry's crazy stories at school and Killian's tales of adventure on the various street corners of New York City, Boston, Manhattan, and even a little in to New Jersey. He traveled a lot with the change of weather and success in the city. Emma had a good laugh for the first time in a very long while.

After dinner, Killian sat on the couch and taught Henry and Emma how to play a few chords. Emma knew more piano than guitar, but she caught on quickly. Killian was impressed with her learning and Henry's piqued interest in the art of the guitar.

"Name me a song, Henry. What's your favorite song?" Henry thought about it for a moment and popped up with an idea.

"I like Disney songs! Do you know 'A Whole New World'?"

"I sure do. You want to help me sing it, or perhaps your mother would like to assist me vocally since the song does require a male and female part?" Emma rolled her eyes and stood up from the piano bench.

"Killian, you're ridiculous." She plopped down on the couch next to him and Henry took a spot on the floor, a captive audience member. Killian strummed the opening chords and began to sing.

"I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?" Killian playfully tapped her nose and Emma giggled, completely outside of herself. The song continued on, Emma and Killian holding their parts effortlessly. It was like they were meant to sing together.

"A whole new world. That's where we'll be. A thrilling chase, a wondrous place, for you and me." Killian finished out the last chords and gave Emma a hug. Henry clapped and gave both performers hugs. Killian checked his watch, half past nine.

"Henry, why don't you go get ready for bed? You have school in the morning." Henry headed down the hall after bidding Emma and Killian goodnight, once again leaving the two alone.

"Emma, thank you for everything. It was absolutely lovely, but I should probably take my leave." Killian started for the door, but Emma slipped in front of him and blocked him from opening the door.

"No way. You are not sleeping on the street, not if I have anything to say about it." Killian tried to move past her, but she caught him when he tried.

"How do you know about that?"

"It was in your hat. I saw your eviction notice crumpled up inside of it. Look, I know you probably think I'm just doing this out of pity, but I'm not, I swear. Please, just let me help you. One night. One night, and I won't ask you again." Killian stepped back from the door and examined Emma, fully intent on standing her ground.

"Emma Swan, you are possibly the most infuriating woman I've ever met." Killian put his guitar down by the sofa and sat back down.

"And you, Killian Jones, are possibly the most exasperating man I've ever met." Emma locked the door and sat down next to Killian. The both of them huffed and stared at each other. Emma's eyes were green like the jewel in his mother's wedding ring, a beautiful enchanting color. She stood up and grabbed a few blankets from the coat closet.

"Look, take my bed for the night. I'll sleep out here."

"Emma, I can't." Emma pulls Killian from the couch and leads him through her doorway and plops him on the bed.

"It's one night, Killian. One night can't give me eternal back deformities." The pair stare each other down, but Killian finally gave in and relaxed his shoulders. He gave a mock bow to Emma.

"If the lady insists. Good night, Emma." Emma smiled and turned to leave but Killian called her back. "Oh, Emma?" She turned around. "Pleasant dreams." Emma smiled and closed the door but left it ajar in case something happened in the middle of the night. She snuggled in on the couch and actually did have pleasant dreams for the first time in a while.

One night turned in to two, then three, then a week, then two weeks. Soon enough, Emma thought to make it official to let Killian stay in the apartment as long as he needed. Henry loved having a father figure in his life, and Killian showered Henry with love and attention. Emma thought they were meant for each other. Henry seemed like a much happier kid since Killian came in to the apartment that Tuesday night, and Emma's spirits lifted too. Work wasn't all she devoted herself to. She could actually let loose and have fun for once.

Friday night was fast approaching, and Killian eventually worked up the courage to ask Emma on a date. He had saved up some money playing a few bars and street corners in the past weeks and wanted to take Emma to dinner and spend the night in town. Of course, Emma accepted Killian's offer graciously. He hugged her, and, from the doorway of his room, Henry smiled.

The date was fantastic. After dinner at Emma's favorite Mexican restaurant, they decided to stay for the live music by an authentic Mexican band. Killian had asked one of the band members to sing a song for Emma in Spanish while he played the guitar, and when the lead singer heard Killian's request, he agreed immediately. Killian had searched lyrics that fit their relationship and found the perfect song called "Para tu amor," for your love. The singer said that the song was his absolute favorite love song, so he gave Emma a slip of paper with the English lyrics written so that she could follow along.

Killian took his place on a stool near the front of the stage and smiled at Emma.

"Hi, attention everyone. My name is Carlos Santo Cristo of Estrellas Fugaces, the Shooting Stars, and we have a special guest to play for us. His name is Killian and he would like to dedicate this song to someone special in the audience. Donde estas, chica?" Emma stood up and moved to the front table next to Killian and sat down, eager to hear the performance. The audience cheered for her. "This is called 'Para tu amor.' It means 'For your love.' Maestro?"

Killian plucked at the strings and stared at Emma lovingly. She opened the paper with the English translation written and sat mesmerized listening to Carlos's voice and Killian's playing. The lyrics were some of the most beautiful she had ever heard.

"For your love, I have everything, from my blood to the essence of my being. And for your love that is my treasure, I have my whole life at your feet. And I also have a heart that is dying to give love and a heart that does not know the end of beating for you. For your love, there are no goodbyes. For your love, I only have eternity. And for your love that illuminates me, I have a moon, a rainbow, and a carnation . . . For this reason, I love you so much, and I don't know how to explain what I feel. I love you because your pain is my pain. There's no doubt I love you with soul and heart. I worship you today and always. Thank you. I give you my love for existing . . ."

The song repeated some more, but by that time, Emma was crying tears of joy. On stage, Killian was professing his love for her, and Emma basked in every minute of it. Killian played the last chords and set his guitar aside. The audience clapped and began to chant as the pair hugged. "Beso! Beso!" Emma and Killian looked out, confused, but Carlos helped them out. "They want you to kiss." The couple nodded in understanding, and Killian pulled Emma in while she was caught unaware and kissed her passionately. Her hands grabbed his hair and pulled him in closer. Though she was stunned by his affection, she responded with fervor seconds later. The crowd cheered as the pair pulled away and headed off of the stage.

"Buenos noches, New York. Good night!" Carlos watched the couple run through the door holding hands and smiling joyously.

Emma and Killian made it back to the apartment but could barely contain themselves from ripping clothes off in the elevator. They were barely inside the door when Killian pressed her against it and kissed her again, fondling her breasts through her dress. Emma unbuttoned his shirt, which was thankfully already halfway undone, and nearly ripped it off of him. All of those drinks must have made Emma feel extraordinarily sexy. When Killian took Emma's dress off, she pranced around her bedroom in her heels and lace panties and took her time bending over the nightstand to pull out a condom. She barely got one leg on the bed before Killian rolled her under him and kissed down her neck somewhat sloppily in the heat of the moment, but every kiss and touch was laced with love and passion.

They were lost in the feeling of each other moving together. Everything felt right and at peace when Killian moved himself inside of Emma. It had been a while for her, but she didn't seem to mind. She was with a man she loved who adored her all the same.

"I love you, Killian," she whispered as he stared into her eyes, sinking inside of her. He groaned and kissed Emma.

"I love you too, Emma." After that, they were a tangle of legs and strangled moans moving together like a practiced dance. The time was right and Emma released herself, digging her nails into his back, and made known what she felt about him. Killian followed suit seconds behind and lay atop Emma breathing heavily. He rolled off of her and held her close as she drifted off in to a deep sleep in his arms, his name the last thing to leave her lips before her eyes closed. Killian stroked her hair as her breathing slowed, but Killian couldn't sleep just yet. Emma must have been in a nightmare when she moved in her sleep and started to cry, so Killian held her against him and sang a soft lullaby to her. That seemed to calm her, and Killian knew he could sleep in peace knowing his Emma was safe dreaming happy thoughts and so was he.

It had been a week since they had sex for the first time, and Emma was feeling deathly ill. She had thrown up four times in less than three hours. This hadn't happened the night after she had a few drinks and scared the life out of Killian. He held back her hair as she purged in the toilet every time and soothed her back when she cried afterward. Killian hoped this was just a twenty-four hour thing.

But it wasn't. It had been a month since that first night, then two, and Emma's health was seriously in jeopardy. Emma had fainted several times no matter how much she ate. She had lost weight rapidly without trying. Despite that she was already thin but in shape, Emma's overall well-being had decreased. She couldn't remember anything, nor could she walk straight for long periods of time. Killian knew that she needed medical attention, so he brought her in to see someone despite her refusal.

"Emma. I'm really sorry to tell you this, but I'm afraid that the tumor on your brain is cancerous." Emma hung her head and Killian hugged her softly. A deadly silence filled the room. Emma swore she could hear herself think, but she didn't know what to think.

"Is . . . is there anything we can do?" Emma broke the silence first. Killian held her hand white-knuckled as he waited for the doctor's response.

"The cancer is fairly advanced, but we can try to remove it. You're beginning Stage Three now by the looks of it. We can try surgery, but it would have to be now, and there is a chance you may not wake up. If we don't do anything, you have about six months left, nine at most. It's starting to spread elsewhere, so I don't know if we can catch it quickly enough."

"Well, you've got to try." Killian was angry to say the least but he realized this was Emma's decision.

"Killian, please." Killian grabbed Emma's shoulders and looked her dead-on.

"Emma, you want to live, don't you?" She nodded. "You have things to live for, my love. Many things. For Henry, for yourself . . . for me." Tears sprung from Emma's eyes and Killian pulled her close. "Don't cry, darling. This is all your choice, and I will stand behind you no matter what you choose." Emma thought over her choice. Killian was right, she did have lots of things to live for, and she wanted to stick around for them.

"Okay. If there's any procedure you can do, do it. I've got the will to live, Dr. Whale. I can do it." Whale smiled and patted Emma on the back.

"I'm proud of you, Emma. I like your attitude. I want this to be done tomorrow, and I will see to it that my best team of surgeons takes care of you and knocks this thing out. So, Killian, take her home to rest tonight, and I will see you at 7:15 tomorrow morning. Sounds good?" Emma and Killian nodded, and he helped her down from the table. The both of them thanked Dr. Whale and headed to the apartment.

Henry cried for over an hour when Emma broke the news to him. She couldn't stand seeing her son cry like this. She rubbed his back as he cried and kissed him on the forehead.

"But it's okay, Henry. I'm going to get surgery tomorrow so the doctors can take it out, and I'll be all better after that. You know I would never leave you. While I'm in there, Killian's going to take care of you. I know you're scared. Believe me, he's a big scaredy cat too. But I'll be okay, Henry, just as long as you make sure to say a prayer for me tonight. Can you do that?" Henry nodded, and Emma sent him off to bed. She snuggled in with Killian, her shelter, her sanctuary.

"I'll be okay, right Killian?" He kissed her hair as she curled in to his chest.

"Of course you will, Emma my love. I won't be too far away from you while you're in there, and you will be just fine. I'm with you right here." He placed his hand over her heart. "And when you get out, you can have anything you want to eat. Anything." Emma laughed and turned off the lamp and faced Killian.

"I'm still scared though." Killian moved off of the bed and rummaged through his drawer until he found the one precious item he was looking for. A small piece of plastic resided between his fingers.

"I want you to have this. It's the guitar pick I used the night I met you. I saved it in the drawer so I wouldn't lose it, and I thought now would be a perfect time to give this to you. Emma Swan, you enchanted me since the moment I saw you walking along 42nd Street in your emerald green blouse. I remember that because it matches your eyes. I knew when you sang with me that you were everything I had been searching for. A wandering vagabond, you gave me a home, and that is something I can never repay you for. You have shown me love in the brightest of ways and you have tugged on the strings of both my guitar and my heart. I love you." Emma shed tears of absolute bliss and kissed Killian soundly, muttering "I love you" as they embraced in a share of passion . . .

Killian held Emma's hand all the way to the operating room until Whale told him he needed to leave. Emma had placed the guitar pick inside the pocket of the scrubs they gave her to wear so that any metal she had on wouldn't affect the machines.

"I believe in you, Emma," Whale had said before wheeling her into the room.

"I love you, Emma, with everything that I am." Killian blew her a kiss that she caught as she took a last glance at him holding Henry's hand and wrapped his arm around Henry's shoulder. "Your mother will be fine, Henry. Let's go watch something on TV, okay?"

The procedure didn't take as long as Killian thought it would since he found out that it was a minimally invasive technique so that she wouldn't have much scarring and would be in less pain. Whale greeted Killian and Henry, both absorbed in playing Mario Kart on the Xbox.

"Killian, Emma is stabilized. The tumor is out, and we hope we caught the cancer in time. She may be a little disoriented when she wakes, but I think she'll be just fine. Do you want to see her?" He nearly jumped ten feet when he heard the question and Henry followed suit. "Okay then. She's right down here."

Emma was sleeping peacefully in her room, the sun casting a warm light over her pale face. She looked like an angel. Whale left the room, and Killian and Henry stood by her bedside adoring her. Killian moved a strand of hair from her face and revealed her closed eyes and the bandage wrapped around her forehead. Emma hadn't woken and night was soon approaching. Henry curled up in the chair and fell asleep while Killian scooted in the bed with Emma and held her and sang her songs. He kissed her lips and was about to drift off when he heard a voice.

"Ki . . . Killian?" He cried tears of happiness as Emma opened her sweet green eyes and stared at him. He embraced her fiercely and kissed her like a starving man. "Whoa, whoa. Easy, tiger."

"Oh, love. You have no idea how worried I was. I was scared you wouldn't wake up. I thought I had lost you for good." Emma smiled and touched his face, his scruff tickling her smooth hands.

"You could never lose me, Killian. I wouldn't let that happen. Get some rest, I can see your eyes hanging." Arms around her gently, Killian slept peacefully next to his love and Emma smiled. With him, she was invincible.

She had really seemed to be improving. Emma was smiling more again, she was playful and young and light, and she loved being with her love and her son. Emma had to stay in recovery for a week or so to keep tabs on her condition, but the trio found ways to keep the hospital entertaining, namely Henry. The two lovers would create a scavenger hunt for him and set a time limit so they could have a little alone time.

Emma would be discharged the next day, and Killian couldn't be more excited. She had a list of things she wanted to do as soon as she got out and planned to complete every one. Everything was in order for her release until all hell broke loose. She had stood to use the bathroom when she fell, her back cracking in sickening noises. Emma didn't even have time to cry out before she fell into unconsciousness. Killian, of course, was out of the room when it happened and found Emma lying on the ground, her back twisted and her form not breathing.

He rang for a doctor immediately, who rolled her into urgent care to make sure she was still alive. Killian was watching from the window as the doctors fought to wake Emma as fast as they could. She was stable at least but not in a healthy condition.

"The cancer spread to her spinal cord. We couldn't catch it in time, even with removing the tumor. Where it is, she's lost all function below her waist, and there isn't much more any of us can do. I'm very sorry, Killian, I know this is hard for you." Whale tried to be as comforting as possible, but Killian broke down and fell to his knees sobbing.

He at least gave him reassurance that he had a few days left with her and that she could still speak. But it didn't matter. Not when the love of his life lay in front of him dying on a hospital bed. He ended up punching a few things after he had ceased crying and knew he was absolutely miserable. Whale let Killian see her after a while, and my God, Emma looked miserable.

"Killian?" Her eyes were so wide and pathetic. She reached out to him feebly, and he ran to her side and squeezed her hand.

"Emma, my love. I'm right here." He hugged her close and kissed her sweet face over and over again, never wanting to let go.

"I'm sorry." That made Killian cry even harder because what did she have to be sorry for? She couldn't be sorry for something out of her control. "Hey, I'll keep the guitar pick with me, you know, in Heaven. When you die, you can play for me up there and we can sing songs like we used to."

"Emma, don't say that. I can't let you go just yet." Emma looked in to Killian's blue eyes rimmed with tears.

"You're not letting go of me at all. I won't be here for you to hold much longer, but I'm always in your heart. You know that." He gave a weak smile and kissed her.

"Aye. That I do, love." Emma urged him to lean her back on the pillows, and he gave in to her request.

"Killian?"

"Yes, Emma?"

"Don't be sad, please. This is part of God's plan, you know. People come in to our lives for reasons and move out of them for reasons too. My work here is done. I changed you, a vagabond, and gave you a home in my heart that you will always have. Its doors will always be open for you. I will never shut them no matter how far apart we are. I love you, and I always will. Take care of Henry for me, please. He needs someone like you in his life." A star twinkled outside of Emma's window that seemed to call out her name. "That's my cue, Killian. It's time for me to go. No matter where you are or where I am, you have a piece of me with you, and I have a piece of you. I'll see you soon. I love you, Killian."

Emma kissed Killian and the light faded out of her green eyes, the magic he saw in them twinkled like the star one last time. Her heart stopped and her spirit ascended in to Heaven. Killian cried over her body for over an hour, and Henry joined him minutes after she faded. December the 21st, the Winter Solstice, was the coldest day of the year in more ways than one.

The funeral was heartbreaking for everyone who knew Emma. Everyone cried that day. Her body was placed in the ground where it would remain in its coffin, but her spirit seemed to cover the whole of everyone there.

Killian was the one to choose what he wanted her tombstone to say, and he knew exactly what he wanted.

"Emma Grace Swan. October 23, 1983 – December 21, 2011. Loved by all and tugged the strings of hearts and a single guitar."

A replica of his guitar was made into a smaller version that rest inside her coffin along with his pick, and on the outside, joined by the colorful flowers placed neatly over the area, Killian placed a single pink carnation by her stone, a reminder that he thanked her for existing and that he worshipped her now and always.

He would never forget his Emma. He raised Henry as his son and saw the lights of Emma in him every day. That's when Killian realized Heaven wasn't too far away and neither was his Emma.

The morning of Henry's eleventh birthday, his first without Emma, the boys woke to the most enchanting sunrise that covered all of New York in a golden gleam. The light was Emma's hair flowing in waves around them, the green trees of spring her eyes that smiled upon them wherever they walked, the flowers her lips that tasted of the sweetest nectar to all the bees that took their nourishment from them, and the Sun . . . well, for a moment, Killian saw Emma's face inside the Sun that blew him a kiss and said "I love you, now and always."


End file.
